April 16, 2011

Look who's talking

Thursday night my five-and-three-quarter-year-old son got mad at me. Probably because I got mad at him first.
In a huff he yelled, "THAT'S IT!! I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU EVER AGAIN!"
Me: "Hmm. Okay."
J: "I MEAN IT!  I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU FOR TEN WHOLE DAYS!!!"
(Long pause)
J: "STARTING SATURDAY!"
J sat down on couch, arms folded across his chest, glaring at me with his best angry face.
Me to my other son: "Fine. So, R, how was school today?"
R: "Good."
Me: "What did you do?"
R: "I dunno."
Me: "Oh. Ok. Great."
J: "MOMMY....WHY AREN'T YOU TALKING TO ME??? (Said through clenched teeth assuming, I guess, that if he didn't really move his mouth it didn't really count as talking.)
Me: "I thought you weren't talking to me for ten days."
J: "NO! EIGHT DAYS! STARTING TOMORROW!"
Me: "Oh, okay."
J:  "OH MY GOD! NOW I'M NOT TALKING FOR SEVEN DAYS - STARTING RIGHT NOW!"
Me: "Alright."
J: "I'M SERIOUS!!! I'M NOT TALKING FOR 150 HOURS."
Me: "Fifteen hours?"
J: "NO!!!! WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME? I SAID 100 HOURS! BUT IT'S ALREADY BEEN 3 HOURS (five minutes) SO I'M NOT TALKING FOR ANOTHER 2 HOURS!!!
Me: "I'm sorry, when does the "no talking" start?"
J: " I TOLD YOU ALREADY IT STARTS SUNDAY!! SIX HOURS! STOP TALKING TO ME!!!"
(Several minutes of silence)
J:  "MOMMEEEEEE.....WHY ARE YOU IGNORING MEEEEE???"
Me: "Oh, are we talking now?"
J: "NO!!!!!!!! I TOLD YOU I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE!!"
(Confused Pause.)
J: "BUT DON'T IGNORE ME!"
Me: "You can't have it both ways."
J: "OKAY - FINE! I WILL TALK TO YOU IN HALF AN HOUR!!
Me: "Sounds good. I'm looking forward to it."
(Long pause.)
J: "STARTING TUESDAY!!"

Thank god it's Saturday. I think.

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1 comment:

Dona said...

That made me laugh a loud!! Nora has begun this phase too...good luck!

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