March 27, 2011

Key Lego

Last week my husband and I took the boys to the Florida Keys for spring break. It was our first trip with just the four of us — no other family or friends. The boys had mommy and daddy’s full attention day and night for a week straight.

And it was great. Practically idyllic, really. 

The weather was beautiful, sunny and warm. The resort was amazing for kids. There were six huge swimming pools to choose from and a lagoon surrounded by warm, white sand. You could kayak or swim in the shark and seaweed-free ocean water.

The main attraction? A huge pirate ship pool with water slides, cannon ball water guns and coconut waterfalls. And plenty of other kids to walk the planks with. Right behind the pirate ship was an 18-hole mini golf course, a basketball court, swing set, jungle gym, and life-sized chess and checkers boards. Oh, and a bar and grill supplying all the lemonade their bladders could hold.

Our villa had a ridiculously large backyard that backed up to a bay and there were flying fish that came out to entertain us every morning. We bought a whiffle ball set and started training our future World Series Champs. We befriended other couples with kids the same age staying in adjacent villas. Together we had one of those unforgettable nights where the grown-ups pulled out guitars and the kids pulled out glo-sticks.

We took a day trip to Key West where the boys got shark tooth necklaces, ate Superman-flavored ice cream and took pictures with Spiderman at Mallory Square.

Another evening we drove to Anne’s Beach where they went shelling and then spent another two hours terrorizing the tiny crabs that were trying to crawl out of their holes for dinner.

Even the short walks around the resort were entertaining as lizards darted across the paths trying desperately to avoid death by kids’ feet.

And the best part of all….we ate Key Lime Pie every single day. In fact, there wasn’t one meal where the boys didn’t get a treat at the end – whether they ate all their fried, starchy meals or not.

But you never know with kids. So just in case, we found a K-mart and got a couple Lego sets. It’s the boys’ favorite thing to do at home and so we figured we’d have a few on hand. You know, just in case they needed something else to do after twelve straight hours of fun.

With no enforced bedtime, they stayed up late every night and worked on their Legos until they couldn’t keep their eyes open any longer. It was a nice, calm way to end every fun, sun-soaked day.

The boys had the time of their life. You could see it in their eyes. 

And then, just like that, it was time to go home. There were long faces on the drive back to the airport. They started missing Florida before we even left the state. They interrogated us as to why we didn't live there and demanded confirmation in blood that we’d be back next year.

We told them we could definitely go back. And we asked what their favorite part of the trip had been. With so many fun things, we didn’t think they’d be able to choose. But they didn't miss a beat.

In unison they screamed, “The Legos!”

The sun. The sand. The ocean. The lagoon. The swimming. The stone crabs. The whiffle ball. The mini golf. The lizards. The Glo-Sticks. The shelling. The Spiderman. The shark necklaces. The Key Lime Pie.  

And they liked the Legos.

Next year I think my husband and I will go back to Florida. But maybe we'll just drop the boys off at K-mart. 

March 26, 2011

A Life Sentence

When you have kids people love to tell you "Don't worry, everything will be okay."
Well, that's just not in my genetic makeup. Worry is my go-to response. 
I worry every time I get on a plane, order something new for breakfast, leave the kids at their school and hear my phone ring after 9 PM. (No one calls with good news after nine.)
When I find a bump on my skin I immediately worry it's cancer. Never mind that I just slapped a mosquito dead in that exact spot moments earlier. I'm sure I'm a goner.
So it's only natural that I've worried every step of the way of having my two boys. Actually, make that every half-step.
Earlier this year my oldest son Jake was admitted to the hospital (justified worrying - yes, I can tell the difference). When he was finally home I asked my mom when it would all get easier. 
She looked at me like I was nuts and said the truest words about parenting that I've heard yet: "Having kids is a life sentence."
Oh my god. 
The joy, the fear, the hope, the craziness, the pride and maybe most of all, the worry, will never, ever, EVER end. I could literally see the black hole of vulnerability stretching out ahead of me for (hopefully) decades to come.
I looked at my mom who was, and still is (in my completely unbiased opinion) the best mom ever. Her life had revolved around me and my brother. And even though we are now in our (choke) late 30s and early 40s, her emotions for us are just as raw as mine are for my very young kids. Our pain is still her pain. Our joys and accomplishments, still her bragging rights.
A life sentence.
One night when my oldest son was just an infant I called my mom to complain about the sleep deprivation. I bemoaned the fact that I was obviously the only person on the planet with a baby who couldn't learn to sleep for more than 90 minutes straight.
Her response was simple. "Yeah, it's awful. But this is the easy part. At least you know where your child is every night. Wait until they become teenagers."
A life sentence.
Okay. Deep breath.
I can deal. 
I just need a place to unload it all.


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