What I learned this week

That Sharkey attends Bug Language School (taught by an Octopus of course) during the day. He takes a "coo" (school) bus there and home, which is impressive considering Sharkey is made up entirely of synthetic fibers, has two glass eyes, no legs, and we have not yet given him a house key.

That the Octopus teacher can crush the sharks because it's the king of the class.

That an Electric Sono Dragon and an Electro Sonic Dragon are two completely different things. Or maybe not.  (Or that maybe we need speech therapy.)

That my son has a medium-sized army of jumping jack ants living under his bed. They sleep with cozy blankets and pillows, are very happy and consider my son their daddy.

That if the Blackhawks versed Dernard Robinson, Dernard Robinson would win, even though he probably can't skate, because he is weally, weally fast.

That birthday cakes have to come with both chocolate and white cake in the middle because people like both and need to eat both at the same time to be happy. People don't want to have to chose. People shouldn't have to choose. People are upset when they have to choose. Specifically the two smallest people living in my house.

That a water spider is faster than a Lambroghini. It can travel 400 miles an hour. Even faster on a hardware floor in socks.

That my four year old visited a science lab at the university this week where a special germ was planted into his hand and will grow. Into what, I am not exactly sure.

That the second-best profession ever in the whole world (right behind being a fire-breathing dragon) is becoming a member of "The Great Eight."

That "The Great Eight" has something to do with hockey.

That every now and then, when I'm having a particularly good day, I am capable of making the almost perfect cup of hot chocolate. But also...

That I forgot to buy tiny marshmallows.

That my youngest son really, really loves watermelon. He promises. Really. The fact that he refuses to eat it and can't control his gag reflex when he does means nothing.

That paper beats rock. Rock beats scissors. Scissors beats paper. Hot lava beats rock. Kriptonite beats hot lava. Magic beats T-Rex (sometimes). Open window beats centipede. Tornado beats hot lava. 

That I have a lot to learn.

It's a Life Sentence on Facebook.